Crisis

Hi guys - I know it has been such a long time since you have heard or seen anything from me. For that I truly apologise. Life has been a funny beast this last year, and its been so long that i might even make a video about it. I get these pangs of guilt about my own Youtube channel, where i realise how long it has been since I last spoke into a camera to my subscribers. part of my brain believes that it is due to how I'm now 33 years old - surely that is too old to still be doing this internet video lark...? then I just tell myself to stop being so full of it and really ask again...why aren't you making videos?

I think the first reason is a simple one. Since August last year, work has been exceptionally busy, leaving me with little or no motivation to 'work' on something when I come home. I've been working weekends as well as a full week at the office. My creative juices dried up it seemed, leaving me with a sense of just getting through it and looking to a future where I wasn't so busy.
 
Then it became clear that I wasn't following a path that I wanted, or that i had control over. everyone should have some control over their destiny in life - whether it be the small things like what you want to eat for lunch, to big stuff like what you feel you are here, alive on this shiny blue orb for. right now, I'm having one of the latter crises.

I have been still very busy on the film front, working with the lovely lads from Cerebral Visions on some short films and learning all the way. I guess this might have had something to do with the lack of snarevandamm videos. My expression was being pushed into my collaborative work on our short films, rather than my own personal babbling bollocks.

This must change.

I know that some of my subscribers are missing me - and while that feels great, I don't want that to be a good thing! I shouldn't be away so long to make them wonder if I'm dead or not. (mind you if you are reading this - I can assure you I'm not)

Life in general has become quite busy outside of work too, which is nice, but I've now realised that time away from work is more important that putting in 40-50 hours weeks every week. Yes, the extra money is nice, but I wasn't getting much chance to enjoy it. I've definitely realised that I am a social animal. I have real issues with having to decline a social gathering of any sort, because I have to work the next day. Actually it is even worse when the person inviting you has to ask "are you working that weekend" as if it has been named; been made real by the acknowledgement of a friend.
 
So, I'm not going to make any promises about a video soon because I don't know if I can back that up with actually making one. My heart is beginning to turn back to my youtube videos, but that is all I'll say right now.

Right I have to go do bits and pieces now, like eat dinner and do my homework (no joke, even at the age of 33) so I bid you farewell and tweet me if you feel like saying hello...

Peace,
SVD

https://twitter.com/snarevandamm