Well yesterday was fun. I woke up with blurred vision and thought nothing of it to start with. I think everyone has days when they wake up and take a while to ‘come round’ from a night of deep slumber.
On my way into work I noticed that my vision was still blurred and started to get worried. It was at least 30 minutes that I had been awake and by that time I would have expected to have my normal vision back. So while sat at my desk I still had blurry vision but noticed that it was only in one eye. It was like my brain was saying “deal with this… he’ll never work this one out…LOL”
Yes, my body talks in l33tspeak. Moving on…
So I determined that my vision had indeed gone a bit wonky in my right eye and mentioning it to my boss, they suggested I get down to the EYE casualty unit at the hospital to get it checked out – I mean I could have something serious going on and this could be the first sign.
My decision was slightly hampered by the fact that I have a penis. We men are rubbish with health ‘things’. It’s like we are admitting we have a fault or showing the world that we are weak. I just put it down to being lazy. But after being bullied to book something in, I reluctantly did so to ensure my ears weren’t the next thing to need hospital treatment.
I finally phoned up the hospital and got an appointment for 4.15pm, so of course it meant an early clock off but when I got there, I knew it would take hours to get seen and sorted.
After booking in with the receptionist, I sat down and was surprised how quickly the first hour went by before I was seen by a care assistant who checked my vision. Covering up my good eye, I read the chart. Not bad I thought, but it was fuzzy. As soon as I changed eyes, I could easily see that I’d made a mistake. However I got to the second line from the bottom, even with my bad eye. It seems most people who go to casualty don’t have very good eyes…LOL
After seeing the nurse (the 2nd of four people I sat with) she made the decision to put dye and dilating drops in my eyes.
Let me tell you. That fucking hurt. It was as if someone had just rubbed chillies in both my eyes. It subsided pretty quickly, but it was especially kind of the nurse to tell me it was going to sting AS SHE PUT THE BASTARD DROPS IN MY EYES…
After that I had two separate doctors look into my eyes and they both came to a consensus that I didn’t have anything visibly wrong with my eyes.
Great. Now I feel like a fraud I thought.
Nevertheless I had come through unscathed and happy that nothing was found like a typical bloke. “What was the worry” I thought.
So as I was getting ready to leave and jangling my car keys on my way out through the door it suddenly occurred to the receptionist to tell me that I couldn’t drive for four hours while my pupils were dilated. As I walked outside I realised why. The world was a brighter place, but equally as offensive to my new inability to focus on anything less than 6 feet in front of me.
I tried to text a friend to come and pick me up and drive my car home, but it took ages to work out what I had typed…LOL
The story ends well, with me getting home with massive puppy dog eyes and pupils the size of dinner plates.
Feel sorry for me, as the example of a typical bloke who actually went to see a doctor.
Til next time,
Snare.
